Sunday, November 8, 2026

Reinventing Myself, One Stitched Finger at a Time



I'm pretty sure I have ADHD. I realize self-diagnosing from Facebook reels probably isn't the most reliable method of arriving at a medical conclusion, but the symptoms certainly fit. Even the fact that I've lived my whole life without realizing I have ADHD has a perfectly good explanation. It seems I've spent my whole life masking and — according to Facebook — the ability to mask goes out the window at menopause.

With undiagnosed ADHD, menopause and middle age circling like vultures, it's probably no wonder I've been trying to reinvent myself.

Unfortunately, the reinvention process hasn't exactly gone according to plan. I've quit my job at the local newspaper so I can focus on other things, but I'm still clocking around 140 miles a day in a school bus driving a rural bus route.

I'm still a wannabe homesteader. Take, for example, my recent adventures in winemaking. 

That's right. I'm at it again.

I was corking a batch of apricot wine when I managed to injure my finger badly enough to require seven stitches. Seven. Apparently, making homemade wine is not without its occupational hazards. I'm not sure what the official safety guidelines are for amateur winemakers, but I'm beginning to think protective equipment should include more than just an apron and a willingness to experiment. I know for certain that I'm giving that corker a bad review on Amazon.

Then there was the butter incident.

I recently received the gift of some raw milk. My mind immediately started exploring all the things I could do with it. The first, and easiest, was to skim the cream and make some homemade butter.

Homemade butter sounds wonderfully wholesome and domestic. There's something satisfying about turning cream into butter, especially when you start thinking about all the things you can make with it, or daydream about baking fresh bread and topping it with fresh butter. 

Unfortunately, I can never focus on just one thing at a time. I made the mistake of leaving the stand mixer unattended while I researched thermophilic cheesemaking. A loud splashing sound alerted me that the process might be farther along than I thought. I went back to the kitchen to discover that, yes, the butter had formed. So had its byproduct, buttermilk. While the butter was a wonderful, yellow ball in the bowl, the stand mixer's motion had redecorated the kitchen with buttermilk.

There was buttermilk everywhere. On the counter, around the mixer, and in places I still don't understand. I suppose the lesson is that some kitchen appliances require adult supervision. Or perhaps the lesson is that I should not attempt to multitask.

That would be a reasonable conclusion, except multitasking seems to be one of my defining characteristics. I have approximately 47 things I want to do, 12 things I am actively working on, and at least three more ideas competing for my attention before I've finished any of the first 47.

Which brings me to another reinvention project: rediscovering fiction writing.

For years, I've had stories rattling around in my head. I've always loved creating characters, developing plots and imagining all the ways a story can unfold. Somewhere along the way, though, life, work, family and all the responsibilities that come with being a grown-up pushed fiction writing onto the back burner.

Lately, I've been trying to find my way back.

Part of that journey has involved Pocket FM, where I've been developing two very different serialized fiction projects: Captive Heart and Ring of the Jade Dragon.

Captive Heart has been an opportunity to revisit my love of romance, suspense and complicated characters. It's a story that has required plenty of plotting, twists, emotional turmoil and the occasional moment when I wonder how on earth I'm going to get my characters out of the mess I've created for them.

Then there's Ring of the Jade Dragon, which takes me into entirely unfamiliar territory. Fantasy, systems, dragons, revenge, supernatural abilities and all the possibilities that come with building a completely different world. I have to admit that I feel a little bit in over my head--and maybe I'm just not that into it--but it's been fun to stretch my imagination and explore a genre that lets me break just about every rule of ordinary reality.

And because two stories aren't enough, stay tuned for an upcoming shapeshifter fantasy, Immune to You. It will be a doozy, I promise.

The interesting thing about writing fiction again is how much I enjoy getting lost in it. I can spend hours thinking about a character's motivations, working through a plot problem or imagining what might happen next. Sometimes the story practically writes itself. Other times, I can stare at a paragraph for an hour and wonder why I ever thought I knew how to put words together.

But that's part of the process, I suppose. Rediscovering something you love doesn't necessarily mean picking up exactly where you left off. Sometimes it means learning how to do it all over again, only this time with a few more years, a little more life experience and considerably more distractions.

I'm beginning to suspect that reinvention in middle age isn't about suddenly becoming a completely different person. Maybe it's about giving yourself permission to revisit the things you loved before life got so busy. It's about trying new things, making mistakes, occasionally requiring stitches and accepting that not every project is going to turn out the way you imagined.

I may not have figured out how to keep the buttermilk in the mixer, cork wine without injuring myself or convince my brain to concentrate on one thing at a time. I haven't even ruled out the possibility that Facebook has correctly identified something about me that I've spent decades overlooking.

But I'm writing again. I'm making things. I'm experimenting. I'm creating stories and occasionally making a spectacular mess in the kitchen.

And maybe that's what reinvention looks like.

Although, if anyone has suggestions for a less hazardous hobby, I'm willing to listen.

Ring of the Jade Dragon Episode 1: The Jade Awakens

 



The iron gates opened at 8:47 in the morning, and Ethan Vale walked out into the cold air without looking back.

There was no fanfare. Three years had passed since the trial, and the street was completely quiet for a Monday.

At the same time, everything felt too big, too busy—too much. He shielded his prison-trained eyes from the sun's glare, and flinched when a van drove by at a sedate thirty-five miles per hour.

He had rehearsed this moment enough times in his bunk to know exactly what he needed: a nearby bus stop, a cheap phone, and distance from anyone who knew his name.

Then he saw the limousine parked directly across from the gate, as though it had reserved the spot hours ago. The black vehicle stretched long against the curb with windows tinted deep enough that he could not see the interior, but he recognized the silhouette visible through the windshield partition. He recognized the stillness.

Yan Suzhen.

Ethan kept walking at an even pace in the same direction, because hesitating would give her an immediate advantage. Three steps from the curb, the rear door swung open from the inside. She did not lean out to call him; she simply left the door open, waiting for him to step up.

Ethan stopped at the opening and looked inside. She sat with her hands folded in her lap, dressed in a sharp charcoal blazer, her expression the same unreadable mask he remembered from every board meeting her father had forced her to attend. But when the winter morning light hit her neck, Ethan saw the faint tightness in her jaw, the faint discoloration under her eyes disguised by careful foundation. She did not look rested. She looked like someone who had spent thirty-six months guarding an armory with the safety off.

"Ethan," she said.

"Yan Suzhen." He remained standing on the pavement. "Your family didn't send a card."

"I know," she replied calmly. She reached to the leather seat beside her, picked up a thick folder, and held it toward him. "Get in. There are things you need to see before you make any decisions."

Without stepping inside, Ethan reached for the folder. "I can read it right here," he said, his voice flat, guarded, betraying no curiosity. He had learned long ago  to walk no further into her world than necessary.

He flipped it open while standing on the curb. Inside were bank statements and a notarized trust instrument, with his name printed cleanly across the header of every page. When he turned to the summary balance sheet, he stopped breathing.

Eight point seven billion dollars.

He read it again, forcing his eyes to track each digit. The number didn't change. The master account had been active for fourteen months, accumulating interest that suggested the principal had been secured even longer. He forced himself to flip through the next pages - verified assets, meticulous legal preparation, months of planning.

He stared down at her. "What is this?"

"It's yours," she said, looking straight into his eyes. "It was always supposed to be yours."

"That's not what I asked."

She did not flinch under his stare. "Get in, and I'll explain the structure of the trust. The legal transfer is already complete, and you can verify the filings with any attorney you choose."

Ethan studied her face, searching for the hidden angle. The Yan family never handed over eight billion dollars to a man they had abandoned to a prison sentence without lifting a finger; they did not wait outside prison gates on release morning out of guilt or family devotion. Guilt was simply not a currency they traded in, and loyalty was reserved for the living.

He climbed into the car and pulled the heavy door shut behind him as the limo slipped smoothly from the curb.

Yan Suzhen reached inside her tailored jacket, but what she withdrew was not another legal contract. It was a ring made of dark black jade set into plain silver, worn completely smooth along the inner band.

It was his father's ring. Ethan stared at it resting in Yan Suzhen's open palm - black jade worn smooth across decades, silver setting scratched from years of daily wear. He had last seen it on his father's hand in a hospital bed.

"It was held in trust," she said, her voice dropping lower, stripped of corporate polish. "Your father bound me to an oath on his deathbed, to the Sovereign seat itself. Not to your comfort, and not to your convenience. The instructions were exact: delivered only when you stepped outside those gates, and not an hour before."

"Who held it while I was inside?" Ethan asked.

"I did," she said flatly. As he looked closer at her fingers, he noticed the faint, pale ring of scarred flesh along her left knuckle where bone had broken and reset poorly. Her fingers trembled once before she locked them rigid. "My family thought I should hand it over to their partners. Others came looking for it in the dark. It cost me two quiet years, an uncle's standing, and three dead drops in Zurich to make sure it was here this morning. The chain of custody is documented. Take what is yours, Ethan. I'm finished carrying it."

He reached out slowly, watching her face as his hand closed the distance. She met his gaze with unyielding, cold defiance. Straightening his posture, he picked the ring directly from her palm.

The heat hit him instantly.

It was a searing flood that shot from his fingertips straight up his arm, forcing him to grip the leather armrest with his free hand. The jade had felt icy a second ago; now the surface burned with unbearable intensity, yet his locked fingers refused to open.

Then the voice detonated inside his skull.

The sound bypassed his ears entirely, rising from somewhere deeper within his consciousness to speak words he had never encountered. The syllables sounded sharp, rhythmic, and alien. Even though he understood none of the vocabulary, his body reacted automatically to the cadence. His spine locked rigidly upright; his jaw set hard against the agonizing strain. The commands layered over each other in rapid succession, filling the space behind his eyes with violent pressure.

He forced himself to meet Yan Suzhen’s gaze. She watched him with her hands folded neatly in her lap, wearing the calm expression of someone observing a scheduled train arriving on time.

"You knew this would happen?" he rasped. "Is this what he planned?"

She did not deny it. "I knew the ring would respond to you, Ethan. Did you truly believe he left you an ordinary heirloom?"

The relentless voice pressed against the inside of his skull, searching for an open doorway. Ethan clenched his back teeth together so hard they ached; he refused to let her see him collapse in the back of this moving car.

Suddenly, the language shifted. The ancient syllables dropped away mid-sentence, replaced by clear English spoken in a tone that was neither male nor female, neither young nor old. It was simply absolute and certain of itself.

It began reciting names.

"Chen Wuhai. Dara Solenne. The Voss Compact. Mirela Orin."

Each name fell with cold, mechanical weight, like an officer reading targets from an execution ledger. Ethan recognized none of them, but the voice offered no pause for clarification. It simply continued through the registry, marking every target with an identical, final verdict: "Enemy."

The word hit Ethan like an iron bar across the collarbone. Prison survival had trained his nervous system to react before thought could catch up: his ribs cinched tight, his muscles coiled, and his right shoulder dipped forward into an instinctive guard as if a shank were already traveling toward his kidney. He snapped his head sideways, eyes raking the perimeter of the darkened limousine for muzzle flashes or an incoming strike.

"Roland Vale," the voice added suddenly, cutting through the foreign names with brutal clarity. "Damien Cross. Enemy. Threat level: rising."

The phantom pressure drove his heart against his ribs. The voice cycled back through the list, and each repetition brought violent, fragmented flashes of severed steel and blood that did not belong to his past.

Yan Suzhen watched him with composed patience, her gaze tracking the lock in his shoulders. "You're going to want to breathe."

"I'm breathing fine," he said, his voice grating from the strain. He pinned her with a hard look. "Roland and Damien. The voice just marked them as active targets. Are they old blood from my father's ledger, or are they hunting right now?"

"They aren't ancient history, Ethan," Yan Suzhen said, her voice dropping into cold pragmatism. "Roland had spotters outside the gate this morning to verify you walked out alone, and Damien has had eyes on every municipal transit corridor since daybreak. They expected a broken felon they could isolate and bury in an alley before nightfall. The moment this car pulled away from the curb, you became an open breach in their perimeter. They are moving on you now."

Ethan's pulse hammered, the supernatural alarm suddenly matched by immediate, mortal danger. "And the rest of them? What is the Voss Compact?"

"Something the Dragon Sovereign knows better than I do." She glanced toward the high-rise coming into view beyond the tinted window. "Which is why you need the resources I've prepared. You can't do what needs to be done from a bus shelter."

Outside, forty stories of glass and steel rose above a landscaped entrance equipped with uniformed doormen and security cameras. The address demanded a different defense than a prison yard, but it was armor all the same.

"Prepared," Ethan said. "How long have you been preparing it?"

"Long enough." She turned back to him. "There's a penthouse on the thirty-eighth floor with secured lines, research staff, and access to networks your father used. It's yours to use, not mine to control."

"Dara Solenne," the voice said inside his skull, the tone flat and urgent. "She must be found first."

Ethan kept his eyes fixed on Yan Suzhen. "You understood what would happen. You understood what it would cost, and you handed it over in a car anyway."

"I handed it over because my oath to your father demanded it," she replied evenly. "I don't choose the timing. I swore to protect the seat, not your peace of mind."

"That's a convenient way to excuse walking me into an ambush."

"If this were an ambush, you wouldn't have eight billion dollars in bearer assets sitting beside you," she said, her voice sharpening with a brittle edge. "The inheritance is your birthright by blood. The money, the ring, the penthouse-they're yours by law. But understand this, Ethan. My duty was to keep you alive and armed until release morning. My deference, and whether I lift another finger to save your life tomorrow, has to be earned."

"Is that a warning?"

"It's the only honest answer you've received in three years."

He looked down at the jade, which felt black and warm against his palm. The voice shoved another unfamiliar face into his thoughts alongside a repeated name, but Ethan pushed back with practiced discipline, refusing to let the presence take up unearned space. The image dimmed. The onslaught did not stop entirely, but the mental pressure receded.

He studied the building again. A high-rise packed with private staff and secure networks could easily be a gilded cage, or it could be an operational base.

"Who vetted the staff inside?" Ethan asked, his voice sharp and low. "And who holds the primary feeds for those perimeter cameras?"

"The operational staff was cleared through a private firm your father retained four years ago," Yan Suzhen replied smoothly. "The surveillance relays straight to the terminal in the study. No external cloud backups, no third-party oversight. But if you want to sweep the floor yourself before you sleep, the bypass keys are in the glove compartment."

He watched her eyes, searching for the tell she never gave. Walking away now meant hitting the pavement with empty pockets and zero leverage, letting Damien Cross and the Vale family write off his survival while he searched for a payphone. Stepping into that tower gave him eight billion dollars and armor, but it placed him squarely in Yan Suzhen's crosshairs, under the gaze of unknown watchers, tied to a dead man's war.

"You said you serve the ring's purpose," Ethan said. "What does the ring want?"

Yan Suzhen considered the question with deliberate care. "Ask Ash."

"Who's Ash?" he demanded.

“It's the name your father gave the ring. He said it spoke to him.”

"Chen Wuhai," the voice, Ash, said again, his voice relentless. "The Voss Compact. Mirela Orin. Dara Solenne. They must be found. They must be..."

Ethan closed his fingers around the metal. He did not look away from the tower.

He had eight point seven billion dollars on paper, an unknown kill list pounding against his skull, and a glass fortress waiting forty stories up. If he stepped through those doors, he was stepping into a cage that could slam shut behind him the second Yan Suzhen decided her oath was fulfilled. But turning his back on it meant walking into the cold with nothing, leaving the men who framed him untouched while he scrounged for scraps on the street.

He let the silence stretch between them. He wouldn't give her the comfort of an answer, and he wouldn't let the voice rush his hand. He would take the penthouse tonight, check every camera, map every blind spot, and see who came looking for the Sovereign's seat first.

Stay tuned for Episode 2: The Sovereign’s First Audit

Captive Heart Episode 1: The Woman Who Looked Up

 


VALENTINA

The first shout came before I saw the guns.

One second, I was standing beneath an ancient stone archway, trying to make sense of a row of Mayan glyphs.

The next, armed men were pouring through every entrance.

People screamed.

A camera hit the floor and shattered.

Someone knocked over a tripod. A man in a linen shirt tried to stand and took the butt of a rifle behind the knee.

He dropped.

The sound of his body hitting stone seemed to wake something primitive inside all of us.

Run. Hide.

My body wanted to run. Every jolt of adrenaline rocketing through me screamed at me to bolt for safety.

My mind knew better. They only way out lay past the intruders. The stone pillars and shallow alcoves offered no hiding place.

I pressed my back against the wall and forced myself to breathe.

There were six men that I could see. Five looked Latino, while one had a lighter complexion. They wore dark jackets and carried rifles—big, business-like rifles. Their movements were fast but disciplined. They moved with the confidence of people who had rehearsed violence until it became routine.

And then I saw the man who wasn't moving like the others.

He wasn't shouting.

He didn't have to.

Dark hair that might have been wavy or just disheveled. A thin scar cut through his left eyebrow, ending near the corner of the mouth that was set in a hard, grim line. His clothes were rumpled from travel, but there was nothing careless about him.

Despite that, he was younger than I first thought. Early thirties, maybe.

He stood near the center of the chamber, watching everything from dark eyes that betrayed no glimmer of emotion. He looked bored.

That frightened me more than the guns.

"Down!" Only the single word, sharp and commanding.

We dropped.

Plastic bit into my wrists as one of the men pulled my hands behind my back and fastened them with zip ties.

I kept my eyes lowered.

Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.

Be nobody.

Be forgettable.

That was the rule now.

Then I heard crying. Soft, shuddering sobs that would turn into big, messy, hiccupping sobs if the person didn't get them under control.

I glanced sideways.

A girl sat against one of the stone pillars. Sixteen, maybe. A shaft of late afternoon sunlight from one of the high windows caught her bright blue hair. It seemed almost absurdly vivid against the gray-brown ruins around her.

She was staring at her hands, clenched around something. My gaze followed hers down.

Her phone had been smashed, jagged cracks running across the screen like spider webs.

She was staring at the dead screen and shaking so hard her teeth clicked.

Don't.

I told myself not to.

Don't draw attention.

Don't make yourself important.

I scooted closer, trying not to draw attention.

"Hey," I whispered.

Her eyes lifted.

"Look at me," I said.

A gunman shouted something in Spanish.

I ignored him.

"You're going to be okay," I whispered. "Just breathe."

Footsteps approached.

Slow ones.

I looked up.

The man in charge was standing over me. I tensed, willing myself to stay calm, look submissive.

He crouched.

His eyes met mine.

Dark. Steady. Impossible to read.

"Your name."

My mouth was dry. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I tried again,

"Valentina."

He studied me.

Then he looked at the girl beside me.

Then back at me.

"Separate her, " he said without looking away.

Hands grabbed my arms.

"No."

I twisted toward the girl.

"Leave her alone!"

They dragged me across the chamber.

I looked back once.

The girl stared at me until one of the men grabbed her hands, forcing her to drop the phone as he bound her hands behind her.

I wanted to tell her I was sorry.

Instead, I caught the leader's eyes.

He had followed my glance.

He had noticed everything.

They shoved me into a shallow alcove along the wall. I stumbled and lurched into the wall, unable to catch myself with my bound hands. I tried to catch my breath. I'd done it now. Why hadn't I listened to my instincts?

I turned toward him.

"What do you want?"

He walked toward me. His paces were measured, like a panther stalking his prey. And I was…what? A deer? No, more like a mouse.

Outside, somewhere beyond the ancient walls, sirens began to scream.

"Someone leaked our location," he said.

I didn't understand why he was telling me, but there was no one else close enough to hear.

"The police will negotiate," he continued. "They always do."

"And me?"

He stopped in front of me.

"You're leverage."

The word settled into my stomach like a stone.

"The girl isn't?"

"No."

"Why me?"

His gaze didn't leave mine.

"Because you showed me who runs the room."

I almost laughed.

Me?

I was an administrative assistant who ate lunch at my desk and alphabetized things for a living.

"I don't run anything."

"You moved."

His voice was quiet.

"You spoke."

He stepped closer.

"And you looked me in the eye."

A bullhorn crackled outside.

A man's voice echoed through the ruins.

"Soy el comandante Ramírez. Estoy aquí para hablar contigo..."

The police had arrived.

The man in front of me didn't even turn toward the sound.

"Stay here," he said.

"What's your name?"

For the first time, something changed in his expression.

Not much.

Just enough.

"Dominic."

Then he turned away.

Another man approached him from across the chamber.

He was younger, angry, and carrying his rifle as though he wanted everyone to notice it.

"Dominic. They're closing the perimeter."

Dominic didn't look at him.

"Then stop talking and start thinking."

The man took another step.

"Or what?"

Dominic finally turned.

"Or you'll find out."

The room went silent.

Dominic looked at the man for another second.

Then he said quietly, "We think with our heads, not our balls."

The other man backed away.

Dominic looked at me once more.

"Don't forget where you stand, Valentina."

Then he walked away.

I watched him go.

And understood exactly where I stood.

Between six armed men and a police barricade.

Inside an ancient ruin.

As the most valuable hostage in the room.

And somehow, I had done it to myself by trying to comfort a frightened girl.

Stay tuned for Episode 2: Leverage