Life has leveled into a new normal for us. Sitting here and
interacting with the outside world through a computer screen, it begins to feel
as if the outside world is an illusion. I wonder if it will be something of a
shock for me when we’re again immersed in the community around us. Or will that
also be a new normal?
In some ways the new normal is nice. I’ve gotten a lot, and
I mean a lot, of work done in the yard and garden. I don’t have the
rushed feeling of getting it all done so we can dash out the door to 4-H…or
music lessons…or sports…or homeschool co-op. It has given most of my days a
relaxed and lazy feeling, like drifting down a slow creek in an inner tube. My
family has also had the opportunity to take part in distance learning opportunities
we’ve never had before, like a four-week History and Government Crash Course from Patriot Academy. It has opened up so much knowledge to both myself and my oldest. (The other two really won't sit still for it.)
Then there are the ways the new normal is not so nice. When
I do venture out, there’s a feeling of tentativity. There are sidelong glances
when I walk near others (no nearer than six feet, of course). We’re blessed to
live in a place that hasn’t been hard-hit by COVID-19, where people retain most
of their sanity and humanity. Even here, though, stores where customers used to
be able to linger at the counter and talk about the weather now have visible
barriers to maintain distance. Tape on the floor demonstrates the proper
distance to keep. My children, whom I will never claim to be angels in the
first place, pick at each other constantly. My nerves are frayed. My patience
is running thin.
I am saddened by the sickness and death throughout the world
right now. Despite what you may be hearing, there are parts of the world,
especially developing countries, that have suffered far more than we have. Most
people in America have simply experienced…inconvenience. Yet I still see rampant
panic. However bad COVID-19 is right now, fear is by far the worst pandemic we’re
facing. (That, and those who are taking advantage of the situation to gain
greater control, but I won’t go into that now.)
I do admit to an initial surge of fear when COVID-19 started
spreading, but it didn’t last long. Now I may be impatient, irritated—certainly
irritable—but I am not panicked. Why not?
Some of it is probably because I’m normally a pretty
practical person. Like I said, I experienced initial fear, but when I paused to
survey the situation, the outright panic around me didn’t match the facts of
what we are facing. I was actually far more concerned with the Constitutional
violations I was seeing than with the virus itself, but that’s again off topic.
Even at that, I wasn’t panic-stricken. Why not?
I think it has a lot to do with control. So many of us spend
so much of our lives seeking control. We desire to control ourselves, our
income, our families, our friends, our surroundings. We build grand illusions
of control in the form of good jobs, nice things, or an outward veneer of
perfection so at least other people will think we’re in control. But that’s all
they are—illusions. Smokescreens to make us feel better. When a sweeping panic
like coronavirus thrusts itself into our lives, those smokescreens are wiped
away by the hurricane winds around us. And we crumble.
I’m no less guilty of this than anyone. I still struggle
with feelings of despair when faced with things beyond my control—which is
everything. I’ve come to realize more and more in the last few years how little
control I actually have. That in itself wouldn’t bring peace. Far from it. But
while I know I am not in control, I have peace because I know who is.
Yes, this is that kind of post.
I haven’t talked about my faith much in the past several
posts. It doesn’t seem to work in naturally when I’m talking about sourdough or
chickens. Maybe that’s a flaw in me. I don’t know. For me, faith is like the
foundation of a house—you don’t always talk about it, but it’s crucial that it
be there. You really, really miss it when it’s not. When it is….
“…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1:7 ESV).
That, right there. I’m not frightened because I know who’s
in control. No. Matter. What.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18 ESV).
I certainly don’t love perfectly. Not even close. However, God
has enough love to cover us all. He is love. It's His amazing grace that allows me to weather storms--and to get up and keep going when I didn't weather them all that well. Perfection not required. My illusion of control, definitely not required.
Going back to the Patriot Academy class I mentioned above,
today we were blessed to have Dr. Alveda King attend our class. Imagine, in
this time of isolation, we were able to see Dr. King live via Zoom as she
talked about her life and her uncle, Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. It was
amazing to hear her speak about living a life without fear, whether in the fight
for civil rights or in the current COVID-19 crisis. Out of the many inspiring
things she said, I remember these words:
“No matter where you live, no matter what time in history, God is greater.”
Wow. And that’s why I’m not afraid of this virus. That knowledge is my always normal. It doesn't change. I hope you have
the same peace as we try to navigate this unknown territory. If you don’t, drop
me a line. I’d love to tell you how it works.
Have a blessed weekend.
No comments:
Post a Comment